Thanks to Becky for sending this to me.
It is in Fact Old Geezers
SENIOR CITIZENS
ARE THE NATION'S LEADING CARRIERS OF AIDS!
HEARING AIDS
BAND AIDS
ROLL AIDS
WALKING AIDS
MEDICAL AIDS
GOVERNMENT AIDS
MOST OF ALL,
MONETARY AID TO THEIR KIDS!
Monday, September 6, 2010
Sunday, September 5, 2010
It Is Labor Day--Take The Day Off Gals
The Etiquette of Outdoor Cooking
It is the Final Cookout Weekend of the Season for many.
It is the Final Cookout Weekend of the Season for many.
Here is the etiquette of this outdoor cooking ritual, as it's the only type of cooking a real man will do, probably because there is an element of danger involved.
When a man volunteers to do the BBQ, the following chain of events are put into motion:
When a man volunteers to do the BBQ, the following chain of events are put into motion:
Routine:1. The woman buys the food.
2. The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
3. The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the Man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand
Now, here comes the important part:
4. THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.
More routine:
5. The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
6. The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.
Important again:
7. THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.
More routine:
8. The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces and brings them to the table.
9. After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
And most important of all:
10. Everyone PRAISES THE MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
11. The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off" and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women!
3. The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the Man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand
Now, here comes the important part:
4. THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.
More routine:
5. The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
6. The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.
Important again:
7. THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.
More routine:
8. The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces and brings them to the table.
9. After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
And most important of all:
10. Everyone PRAISES THE MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
11. The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off" and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women!
I Have Issues--Things That Keep Me Up at Night
Are part-time band leaders semi-conductors?
Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
Can you get cavities in your dentures if you use too much artificial sweetener?
Day light savings time - why are they saving it and where do they keep it?
Do blind dogs have seeing-eye humans?
Does that screwdriver belong to Phillip?
How do you get off a NONSTOP flight?
How does a thermos know whether a drink should be hot or cold?
If a fly has no wings would you call him a walk?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
If athletes get athlete's foot, do astronauts get mistletoe?
If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight?
If Fred Flintstone knew that the large order of ribs would tip his car over, why did he order them at the end of every show? ----Steven Wright
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
Is duck tape made out of ducks?
What do chickens think we taste like?
What happened to the first 6 UP's?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
When day breaks who fixes it?
Who was the first person to see an egg come from a chicken's butt and think, "I'll bet that would be good to eat?
Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor, but book publishers aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11?
Why are HIGHways build so close to the ground?
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do the signs that say "Slow Children" have a picture of a running child?
Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game," when we are already there?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is it you must wait until night to call it a day?
and finally
Why would anyone admit they actually know me after reading my blogs
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