Stolen from Monteca Scamalot
Two guys are sitting in a bar on the 20th floor of a hotel the first guy slams a shot of tequila and jumps out the window. the second guy watches in amazement but then continues drinking. 5 minutes later the first guy walks back in and sits down like nothing happened. The second guy walks over to him and asks how the hell he survived the fall.
The first guy says, "I don't know every time I slam a shot of tequila and jump out the window I slow down before I hit the ground and land softly on my feet." Again, the first guy slams a shot of tequila and jumps out the window and sure enough he slows down right before he hits the ground and lands softly on his feet. The second guy, after seeing this, he decides to try this so he slams a shot of tequila and jumps out the window but he doesn't slow down, and splat!! He dies.
The first guy walks over to the bartender and asks for another drink. The bartender says to him, "You know, you're a real asshole when your drunk, Superman."