Wednesday, November 17, 2010

The Eagles win the Super Bowl, but

The coach had put together the perfect team for the Philadelphia Eagles.
The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all
the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn't
find a quarterback who could ensure a Super Bowl win.

Then one night while watching CNN he saw a war-zone scene in

In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Afghan Muslim
soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight
into a 15th story window 100 yards away. KABOOM! He threw another
hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney. KA-BLOOEY!
Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph. BULLS-EYE! "I've
got to get this guy!" Coach said to himself. "He has the perfect arm!"

So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of
football. And the Eagles go on to win the Super Bowl. The young Afghan is hailed
as the great hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants,
all the young man wants is to call his mother.

"Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl!"

"I don't want to talk to you," the old Muslim woman says. "You deserted us. You
are not my son!"

"I don't think you understand, Mother," the young man pleads. "I've won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of my adoring fans."

"No! Let me tell you!" his mother retorts. "At this very moment, there
are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two
brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I
have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get r*p*d!"

The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says, "I will never forgive you
for making us move to Philadelphia!

Friday, November 12, 2010



A Old Man and his Grandson who has 5 degrees from Harvard went camping for the night. After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep.

Some hours later, The old man woke up and said "Sonny, look towards the sky, what to you see?”

The Well Educated Grandson replies, “I see millions of stars”,

“What that tell you?” asked The Grandfather.

The Genius Grandson ponders for a minute then says, “Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, it’s evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.”

“What does it tell you, Gramps?”

The Grandfater is silent for a moment, and then says,

“Son!!! you dumber than Shit.”

"It means someone stole the tent!”

Dallas Police Force

The Dallas Police are cracking down on speeders in Dallas ..

For the first offense, they give you 2 Dallas Cowboy tickets. If you get
stopped a second time, they make you use them.

Q.What do you call 47 millionaires around a TV watching the Super Bowl?

A..The Dallas Cowboys

Q.What do the Dallas Cowboys and Billy Graham have in common?

A.They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ".

Q.How do you keep a Dallas Cowboy out of your yard?

A.Put up a goal post.

Q.What do you call a Dallas Cowboy with a Super Bowl ring?


Q.What's the difference between the Dallas
Cowboys and a dollar bill?

A.You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.