The Eagles win the Super Bowl, but

The coach had put together the perfect team for the Philadelphia Eagles.
The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all
the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn't
find a quarterback who could ensure a Super Bowl win.

Then one night while watching CNN he saw a war-zone scene in
Afghanistan.

In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Afghan Muslim
soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight
into a 15th story window 100 yards away. KABOOM! He threw another
hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney. KA-BLOOEY!
Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph. BULLS-EYE! "I've
got to get this guy!" Coach said to himself. "He has the perfect arm!"

So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of
football. And the Eagles go on to win the Super Bowl. The young Afghan is hailed
as the great hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants,
all the young man wants is to call his mother.

"Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl!"

"I don't want to talk to you," the old Muslim woman says. "You deserted us. You
are not my son!"

"I don't think you understand, Mother," the young man pleads. "I've won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of my adoring fans."

"No! Let me tell you!" his mother retorts. "At this very moment, there
are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two
brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I
have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get r*p*d!"

The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says, "I will never forgive you
for making us move to Philadelphia!