Sunday, September 5, 2010

I Have Issues--Things That Keep Me Up at Night

Are part-time band leaders semi-conductors?

Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?

Can you get cavities in your dentures if you use too much artificial sweetener?

Day light savings time - why are they saving it and where do they keep it?

Do blind dogs have seeing-eye humans?

Does that screwdriver belong to Phillip?

How do you get off a NONSTOP flight?

How does a thermos know whether a drink should be hot or cold?

If a fly has no wings would you call him a walk?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

If athletes get athlete's foot, do astronauts get mistletoe?

If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight?

If Fred Flintstone knew that the large order of ribs would tip his car over, why did he order them at the end of every show? ----Steven Wright

If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

Is duck tape made out of ducks?

What do chickens think we taste like?

What happened to the first 6 UP's?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

When day breaks who fixes it?

Who was the first person to see an egg come from a chicken's butt and think, "I'll bet that would be good to eat?

Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor, but book publishers aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11?

Why are HIGHways build so close to the ground?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do the signs that say "Slow Children" have a picture of a running child?

Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game," when we are already there?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is it you must wait until night to call it a day?

and finally

Why would anyone admit they actually know me after reading my blogs

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